Another Punch to the Gut!

I think my family and I are in some sort of warped government experiment. I'm actually quite certain that a number of my friends must be a part of this same experiment, but I will focus on my evidence...

The government, particularly the Air Force, are seeing just how much jerking around one small family can take before they are literally driven insane and/or apart.

Allow me to explain:

If you have read my post "Romanticizing the Military" you will know that my family have received no support from our military community. I personally have made efforts to provide support for others to only PCS (move) from the base and later find out that all the work I did went defunct the minute I left.

But I digress... The Drill Sgt. is not a basic training drill sgt by trade in the USAF. I won't go into the job he normally does, but it involves aircraft maintenance. We volunteered back in December 2002 to do a "special duty" assignment as a basic training drill sgt. Volunteering came with certain promises to us.

For our THREE YEARS of volunteer duty of 17 hr days, 7 days for stretches as long as 16 weeks at a time without any time down we were promised the following:

A) we would serve not longer than 3 years of duty
B) WE would have the option of extending that duty to a 4th, but only at our choosing
C) He would be on a non-deployable status - that means no IRAQ folks!

Slowly but surely all of those promises have been broken.

The 3 years of duty was supposed to have us moving this past fall, but the military decided that they would involuntary extend us another year to a 4th year. I know this doesn't sound bad, but please re-read the duty hours as afore mentioned.

With this involuntary 4th year - we were promised a Base of Preference for our next duty assignment. So we thought, okay, this sucks but at least we get to choose where we go next. We can handle another year. So we back in August submitted out list of bases we wanted -

DENIED!

Great!

Then we found out that the Drill Sgt. would be extended to a 5th year of duty involuntarily.

DAMNIT!

Okay, we'll roll with it. Make plans. Tell the kiddos.

I just completed my college application to return to finish my degree literally last night to start in the fall.

Hubby has duty tonight all night and calls me 2 hours ago. Here is a run-down of our conversation:


Me: "Hey hun"

Drill Sgt: "Hey" (down-trodden)

Me: "What's up?"

Drill Sgt: "Well, I've got news... it seems that something went wrong and things got messed up and... anyway... it looks like we'll be getting orders to move this summer"

Me: "WHAT?!? What the Hell!" (pissed)

Drill Sgt: "Yeah, I'll either find out at a meeting later this month or maybe before then if I get issued orders."

Me: "Fucking Air Force. I guess I shouldn't have bothered to apply to college. DAMNIT! Just when I figured out what I was going to do."

Drill Sgt: "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry Hun. They (the air force) is doing it to all of us."

Me: "I guess we'll just have to roll with it, what will be will be. Oh-the-fuck-well!"

Drill Sgt: "I'm sorry Hun. I know you had plans for the next year and you were going to be able to finish your degree. I'm so sorry."

Me: "It's okay Babe. We'll just roll with it"

Drill Sgt: "I've got to get back to work. Call me before you go to bed. I Love You Sweetie. I'm sorry"

Me: "It'll be alright Babe. It'll be okay. I'll Call you later. I Love You too. Bye"

Drill Sgt: "Bye"



Okay, so now our life is back up in the air.

No college - maybe.

Moving in 6 months - maybe.

I'm so tired of this shit...

My life has been up in the air for 8 years now. Every time my husband gets jerked around, our whole family gets jerked around. I get jerked around. Our kids get jerked around. Our finances get jerked around.

So I guess we'll just wait and see what happens and then when it happens we won't believe it until the movers show up at our front door.

I've noticed I have turned into the type of person I didn't understand when I first married my military man. I was a supportive, gung-ho military wife. I made casseroles, knew the commanders, and volunteered.

Now, well, now I'm angry and bitter. I'm tired of the shit and I don't care what rank you hold or who your husband is.

My girlfriends and I are no longer like military wives, but more like gritty, old war-hardened Sgts. We've all grown tired of the shit.

We've all grown sick of watching our families fates blown to and fro like a flag in a hurricane - whipped around out of control and without any real destination.

We are tethered to a pole - going thread bare with every gust - how long can we hold?

~Rambling Jenn~